One of the readings that moved me alot

This is one blog entry i came across, by one of the participants at the Haul of Imam Abdallah Al-Haddad. This entry moved me so much and reminded me of how small mankind is. May Allah (s.w.t) bless this sister(DewBaby) for such an enriching entry. Here is how it goes..

------Of...him and Us...

Assalammualaikum Dunia…
Peace World…

Ya Rasulullah, I was just reflecting, Ya Rasulullah…

When I saw his face, Ya Rasulullah, the serene Nur reflected on his face, I wondered how it would be like to see your face, Ya Rasulullah…

When I saw his smile, Ya Rasulullah, so sweet and peaceful, I wondered how it would be like to see your smile, Ya Rasulullah….

When I was in his presence, Ya Rasulullah, seated 5th row from the front in the aisle seat so as to see him better and focus my attention on him, I wondered what it would be like to be in your presence, Ya Rasulullah…

When I heard him speak, Ya Rasulullah, his words and style so fluent and captivating, I wondered how it would be like to hear you speak, Ya Rasulullah…

When I saw him jokingly pretending to bite the guy who was trying to pin the microphone on his lapel, Ya Rasulullah, I laughed and wondered if that was perhaps how it was like when you jokingly told the old lady that the old does not enter heaven, Ya Rasulullah…

When I saw how he treated the man who almost knelt in front of him to offer his baiah, Ya Rasulullah, I wondered what it would be like to offer my baiah to you, Ya Rasulullah…

When I saw him approaching me at the aisle, Ya Rasulullah, touching the heads of the congregation who wanted to be blessed by him, and he touched my head as I lowered my head out of respect to him, I wondered, Ya Rasulullah, what it would be like to have my head touched by you, Ya Rasulullah …

When I reflect on the reverence that was showered on him, Ya Rasulullah, I understood then the reasons why the Ummah during your time was prepared to die for you, Ya Rasulullah.

Because, Ya Rasulullah, even I would die for you too.
And I am already dying many small deaths every day today, torn between so many and amongst them, yes, my love for you…

If he could be so loved, Ya Rasulullah, his very cup used afterwards to drink from by so many, his picture taken, his words recorded, his blessings sought, his spiritual leadership honoured, then all the more YOU are more deserving of all these, Ya Rasulullah.

Afterall, he is only your mere descendent.
Whilst you, Ya Rasulullah, was the most perfect man who has ever walked the face of this Earth.
You have came and gone…and yet, so many are still talking about you although much have already been said about you.

And some of us, Ya Rasulullah, are endeavoring to carry your torch of Truth, your mantle of Ihsan and your standard of Islam.
We are trying and struggling, Ya Rasulullah…and we keep falling and standing, just so to be in your sweet presence one day, Ya Rasulullah.

Would you be pleased with us, Ya Rasulullah?
Would you acknowledge us as part of Your Ummah, deserving of Your attention, what more Your Syafaah?

Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, we are not the best of Your servants. Our ibadah is not as good as even Your Rasul’s weakest and furthest companions nor Your Rasul’s weakest and furthest heirs, Ya Rahman. Our faults are so many, we can only ask for Your Forgiveness and Compassion to grant us the guidance and strength to overcome them, Ya Rahim.

Still, Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, we love Your Rasul who has taught us Islam and to be Your grateful servants. We adore him who taught us exemplary character, he who You have sent down as the best of examples, the perfection of character and the reason You have created all the worlds. We strive to emulate him in our daily lives. We strive to follow his teachings and submit ourselves to You.

And, as You have said in Your Noble Qur’an, Ya Allah, obey Allah and obey Rasul, love Allah and love Rasul and as Your Rasul has also said, Ya Rabb, that we will be with the one we love in the hereafter, grant us, Ya Rahman, our meeting with our beloved, our meeting with Your Beloved.

Ya Allah, my tears have not dried, my heart has not been unburdened and my soul has not found peace.
Yet, Ya Rahman, I am thankful for these beautiful reminders You have blessed me with, this Love You have surrounded me with, this Knowledge You have bestowed me with, this Life You have granted me with…and all Your many other blessings You have allowed me to taste.

Let not my tears dry, Ya Rahim, never to dry so that I will always be able to express myself through them.
Let not my heart be hardened, Ya Rahim, always to soften at the remembrance of You, always to feel the burden of my sins so as to remind myself of my humble state so that I can subdue my ego and tame my pride.
Let not my soul find peace in this Life, Ya Rahim, always in a state of lacking and wanting so that I can continue to endeavor to seek peace in Your everlasting hereafter.

And please, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, grant this Love, this Taufiq, this Hidayah, this blessing, this joy to all around me; my family and friends, my acquaintances and foes and many others.

Should the reward for all the heartaches, the anguish, the turmoil, the challenges, the tests, the dissonance, the burdens, the heaviness, the pains of my Life be this, Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, then I am most thankful and grateful for them.

Because, Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, this taste of a drop of purest, clearest, sweetest and most nourishing water is definitely WORTH my furthest wanderings in the most scorching, unrelenting, punishing and treacherous deserts of the hearts.

Masya'Allah...the sweetness of Iman...

If I could do it all over again, I would do all these…and more.
Insya’Allah.

Shaaban has been most blessed.
The blessings of Ramadhan await.
SUBHANALLAH!!!

Ya Allah, shower Your blessings on Your Prophet, Muhammad (s.a.w), his family and companions, the companions of those companions and all those who have strived in the path of Islam then and now.

May Allah bless, guide and protect us always.

regards,
~dew~