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Friday, December 16, 2011

Marriage - The union of two souls amidst all tests and challenges

Salaam to all,

I have been pondering on the concept of marriage for the past week or so. And a shocking news that I came across a while ago made me pen this on my blog..

I have a friend. She's more like a sister to me. I know her for the past 11 years and counting.. We have seen each other through teens into adults.. From the young adolescents who were running after star idols and pop icons into finer ladies who decided to step into Islam.. She never failed to stand by me when I was stressed, upset or confused. If I ever felt I need to talk to someone, she would be the first one to come to my mind. Let's call her M

M is the only daughter for her parents. They are blessed with abundance of wealth, strong Iman, excellent education and the entire family are just so humble. M's parents wanted to get her married a couple of years back.. and spent quite a considerable amount of time finding the right suitor. They came across the right one, fixed it up, grand wedding, all was good - Alhamdullilah.

There have been problems in their wedlock, just like any other couple. It was a tough sail but I always told her that Allah is testing her and that everything will be ok. Please keep praying - have faith in Allah - Allah knows - do your Zikr .. all these would be in the constant texts that we exchange..

Today, 2 years since she got married, I receive an FB message from M that the marriage might not work and they both think its best for them to stay apart. My heart broke when I read this. I hope they weren't serious. But it looks like it is.

M is a very very strong girl. I really don't know what pushed her to this decision. When M was getting married, I could not attend her wedding and I was in a different country at that point of time. I rushed back to Singapore to be her bridesmaid for her wedding reception the following week. During her nikkah, I prayed for her and raised my hands in doa to Allah that M should be happy and that she should be blessed. Personally, I felt she was the best wife any man can have. She was so wise, pious, patient, loving, humble and she would make all efforts to keep her loved ones happy.

I never wanted to pen emotional issues on this blog. But I just need to share.

Marriage requires patience, cooperation, sincerity, communication, trust and most importantly innitive from both parties. Readers, even if both parties are good and truthful to each other, Shaitaan will never leave them alone. I read once that when a man and women sign the nikkah papers and accept the nikkah, Shaitaan takes it as the most primary challenge to split them up both at all costs. He will try his best to cause problems between them. At most times, he sits on our tongues during arguments and makes things worst.

I advice my dear sisters in Islam, if you happen to have an argument with your husband, even if you feel he is in the wrong or whatever he is arguing on is totally unagreeable - just shut up. Really. This works wonders. Be quiet and let him talk/shout whatever he wants to. Once he is done, allow him to cool down and slowly tell him your side of the story if necessary. If it is just a casual topic, something trivial, leave it as it is. Don't bother re-opening it and painting yourside of the story.

Shaitaan plays with your mind during an argument. He will bring all the past issues and cause the small fight magnify many folds. So, just keep quite. If you really cannot be patient. Do your zikr. Inshallah, everything will be ok.

One thing that Allah loves - Marriage.

One thing that Allah hates - Divorce.

Allahu A'Lam

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Auspicious days for making your supplication

Auspicious days that should never be missed!

Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) reports that there are five nights in a year when duas are not rejected:

1. The night of Juma (Thursday night)

2. The first night of Rajab

3. The fifteenth night of Sha’baan

4. The night of Eidul Fitir (Hari Raya Puasa)

5. The night of Eidul Adha (Hari Raya Haj)

On above stated nights an important night that all Muslims should look forward to is Barat Night. “Barat” means being freed of something having no sins or crimes. On this night it is hoped that believers will be freed of their burden of sins and that they will attain divine forgiveness. This is on the 15th night of shabaan( 8th month in islamic calendar). On this night all deeds done during the year will be presented to Allah(swt) and the following years accords will b written therefore committing sins during this night deprives a person of getting blessings.

Hazrat Ayesha (radiyallahu anhaa) states: “One night I discovered that Rasoolullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was missing from his bed. I went out looking for him and found him in Baqee (the cemetery of Madinah), with his head raised to the heavens (while making dua). The messenger of Allah then said to me: “Verily Allah descends to the first heaven on the middle night of Sha’baan (15th) and forgives more people than the amount of hair on the flocks of the kalb tribe.(Baihaqi) The following people are excluded from this widespread maghfirat of Allah:

1) The Kaafir and Mushrik (one who associates partners with Allah).

2) One who is disobedient to parents.

3) Two Muslims who bear enmity towards each other . Allah waits for them to make up and seek each other’s pardon before enveloping them with his Mercy and forgiveness.

4)The robber. (Narrated by Imam Baihaqi)

”Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious looks down on the middle night of Shabaan and forgives all His creation except two people, the innovator and the murderer.” Transmitted by Ahmad.

Ummul Mu’mineen ’Aishah (r), says, “Prophet Muhammad (saw) , used to fast for most of Shaban. I said to him, ‘Messenger of Allah, is Shaban your favorite month for fasting?’ He said, ‘In this month Allah prescribes the list of the persons dying this year. Therefore, like that my death comes when I am in a state of fasting.’ “

After knowing the facts of Laylatul Barat, I’m sure this will become a night for us to look forward to. In this world, we are prone to many sufferings , financial difficulties, family problems, arguments and lots of other haram behaviours knowingly or unknowingly. We may feel impure and wanting a change in our lives, seeking for peace and blessings. This day laylatul barat is a heavenly gift we got from Allah (s.w.t) to ask for forgiveness and repent and not only that but to get blessings for the following year.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Here I go again..

Salaam to all. I'm writing again after a considerable amount of break. Well, this year has been good as well as exciting and eventful for me. Alhamdulillah. I got married :) and I am now staying in Malaysia, a Muslim country. I just wanted to share my thoughts, opinions and learning that I come across while I stay here.

One of the things I love about Malaysia is that I can get Halal food almost wherever I go. Well, not to mention that my husband has started complaining of me gaining a couple of pounds here and there *giggles*. It is only just that we get a good supply of Halal food here as the population of Muslims is really huge. Due importance and respect is given to other religions as well.

There's alot of importance given to prayer. I see many men rushing to the nearby mosques once the Azan is heard. Oh, and you spot Surau(a proper place designated just for prayer) almost in every instituion/commercial building. Each mosque is located at a stone's throwaway distance apart. The culture here is such that people usually pray. Hence, we can spot water facilities and Muslim friendly practices in common washrooms.

While having a conversation with my husband on the education system in Malaysia, I was suprised to know that kids are taught to practice the Sunnah way of living from schools. Alot of the Sunnah manners that I read in the net or from books, folks here already know.Whether thay practice it or not, depends on the individual.

I don't go out that often and I, for now, am a stay home wife. But these are all that I have come across. My parents in law are performing their Haj right now. And I request all readers to kindly doa for their safe return and for their pilgrimage to be accepted by Allah s.w.t. May the Almighty bless them with the due rewards.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I'm just taking a peek at you!

Dear all.. My apologies on not blogging as usual. I've started to work and its been 5 months since I started slogging for Citibank. I'm thankful that i got a job 2 weeks right after i got my results.So, i'm not going to complain even if my job overworks and underpays me.. It all happens for a reason, Alhamdullilah. I just wanted to share some thots on money management. i don't earn big bucks. But, no matter how small, or how big, money management is very very important.

Alhamdullilah, i have started to donate more now. more for the less fortunate, more for religious function. i have learnt that Allah has blessed me more than what i need because he wants to test if i care to share :)

I have started making a list of each expenditure i make. even the smallest. In that way, i keep track of my outward funds and i won't be alarmed when my bank balance hits low at the end of the month.

Another way i manage my money is to keep thinking that 'This is too expensive'. i know, i'm cheating myself. Lol. Before i started working, i felt that a watch that costs SGD50 is expensive. Now that i earn, i can afford that easily. But, to refrain myself from spending on materialistic stuff, i still keep thinking that the SGD50 watch is expensive!

We have to be thankful for the money we have today, that we did not have yesterday. Allah tests us through children and money, my mom used to say. So, even if we earn a million per day, Always remember that what we have today is all that we owe to Allah. We are not gonna take it with us when we go, but we each cent is accountable.

Think twice before you spend a cent, cos there are many who can't even afford that.