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Friday, December 16, 2011

Marriage - The union of two souls amidst all tests and challenges

Salaam to all,

I have been pondering on the concept of marriage for the past week or so. And a shocking news that I came across a while ago made me pen this on my blog..

I have a friend. She's more like a sister to me. I know her for the past 11 years and counting.. We have seen each other through teens into adults.. From the young adolescents who were running after star idols and pop icons into finer ladies who decided to step into Islam.. She never failed to stand by me when I was stressed, upset or confused. If I ever felt I need to talk to someone, she would be the first one to come to my mind. Let's call her M

M is the only daughter for her parents. They are blessed with abundance of wealth, strong Iman, excellent education and the entire family are just so humble. M's parents wanted to get her married a couple of years back.. and spent quite a considerable amount of time finding the right suitor. They came across the right one, fixed it up, grand wedding, all was good - Alhamdullilah.

There have been problems in their wedlock, just like any other couple. It was a tough sail but I always told her that Allah is testing her and that everything will be ok. Please keep praying - have faith in Allah - Allah knows - do your Zikr .. all these would be in the constant texts that we exchange..

Today, 2 years since she got married, I receive an FB message from M that the marriage might not work and they both think its best for them to stay apart. My heart broke when I read this. I hope they weren't serious. But it looks like it is.

M is a very very strong girl. I really don't know what pushed her to this decision. When M was getting married, I could not attend her wedding and I was in a different country at that point of time. I rushed back to Singapore to be her bridesmaid for her wedding reception the following week. During her nikkah, I prayed for her and raised my hands in doa to Allah that M should be happy and that she should be blessed. Personally, I felt she was the best wife any man can have. She was so wise, pious, patient, loving, humble and she would make all efforts to keep her loved ones happy.

I never wanted to pen emotional issues on this blog. But I just need to share.

Marriage requires patience, cooperation, sincerity, communication, trust and most importantly innitive from both parties. Readers, even if both parties are good and truthful to each other, Shaitaan will never leave them alone. I read once that when a man and women sign the nikkah papers and accept the nikkah, Shaitaan takes it as the most primary challenge to split them up both at all costs. He will try his best to cause problems between them. At most times, he sits on our tongues during arguments and makes things worst.

I advice my dear sisters in Islam, if you happen to have an argument with your husband, even if you feel he is in the wrong or whatever he is arguing on is totally unagreeable - just shut up. Really. This works wonders. Be quiet and let him talk/shout whatever he wants to. Once he is done, allow him to cool down and slowly tell him your side of the story if necessary. If it is just a casual topic, something trivial, leave it as it is. Don't bother re-opening it and painting yourside of the story.

Shaitaan plays with your mind during an argument. He will bring all the past issues and cause the small fight magnify many folds. So, just keep quite. If you really cannot be patient. Do your zikr. Inshallah, everything will be ok.

One thing that Allah loves - Marriage.

One thing that Allah hates - Divorce.

Allahu A'Lam

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