*A womans brain is tied to her tongue!!*

We believe that success is in the hands of Allah SWT and that everything has been written and destined.. but there are actions that we must be doing whilst having Tawakul on Allah SWT

And I shall mention to you what an old lady, that was very wise and greatly loved by her husband to a point where he loved to sing love poetry to her and as they grew old their love and happiness grew with them, said when she was asked about the secret to her enduring happiness.

She Said: Attaining married life happiness is in the hands of the woman, for she can make her house a living heaven or turn it into burning hell.

Dont say money for alot of rich women are miserable and have been deserted by their husbands.

And dont say children for there are alot of women with 10 boys, have husbands insulting them, not loving them and will probably divorce them.

And dont say cooking because alot of them are experts at cooking, the one of them cooks all day and yet complains about the maltreatment of love and lack of respect by her husband.

So what is the secret?

What did you do when problems ocured with your husband?

She said: When my husband gets angry and is in rage I used to resort to respectful silence, beware of silence whilst ridiculing him with your look for men are smart and get it.

Why dont you leave the room?

She said: Never leave the room, he will think you are running away and dont want to listen to him, you must keep silent and agreeing to what he says. Iwould wait for him until he cools down and then I would tell him in a gentle voice: Are you done? then I leave because he will get tired and needs to rest after the rage and shouting, I leave the room to complete my housework and my children chores and I try not to remember his anger and assault on me, he will remain by himself tired from the rage he has given me

What do you then do, do you give him the silent treatment for a few days or a week?

She said: No, never give the silent treatment, its a bad habbit and is a double bladed sword, when you boycott him for a week it would be difficult on him in the beginning and he will try to speak to you but with time he will get used to it so that if you boycott him for a week he will boycott you for too.

You have to make him used to the fact that you are the air he breathes, the water which he drinks and cant live without, be like a gentle breeze and never like a strong wind.

So what do you do afterwards?

After two hours or more, I give him a glass of juice or a cup of coffee and tell him please drink, for he is really in need for it and I talk to him normaly, he will ask me: are you angry? and I say No.

He starts to apologize for his harsh talk and starts sweet talking me.

And you believe his apology and sweet talk?

Ofcourse, because I trust myself and because I am not stupid.

You want me to believe his talk whilst he is in rage and disbelieve it whilst he is calm?

Islam has not approved divorce whilst in rage , and thats divorce! so what about what happened to me?

She was told: What about your dignity?

She said: What dignity?

Your dignity is when you dont believe a harsh word from an angry person. And to believe his talk when he is calm.

I forgive him immediately because I have forgotten all the foul language andrealized the importance of hearing beneficial talk.

And to summarize the above I can say:

The secret to a happy marriage is the woman's brain and that happiness's knot is her tongue.