Last 10 nights of Ramadan are upon us and I am sure all of us are aware of the virtues of these blessed nights. But I am listing some virtues as a reminder to all of us because Allah (swt) says in the Quran: Surah Dhariyat, verse 55: “And remind for verily, the reminding benefits the believers.”
Etiquette of the prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) in the last 10 nights: abstain from sexual desires, practice itikaaf and even seclude himself from his wives.
Al-Bukhari and Muslim record from 'Aishah that during the last ten days of Ramadan, the messenger of Allah (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) would wake his wives up during the night and then remain apart from them (that is, being busy in acts of worship).
A version in Muslim states: "He would strive [to do acts of worship] during the last ten days of Ramadan more than he would at any other time."
The prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) would fasten his loin cloth (like rolling sleeves up; meaning he would abstain from approaching his wives even at nights) in these last 10 nights.
During this time we are constantly reminded to engage in nafl salaat comprising of long standing at night and increase our recitation of the Quran. But for some of us, this might be a time when we are going through our menstrual cycle (or post-natal bleeding).
Naturally, it is not easy to stay positive at times, especially when we see the world around us rushing to masajids for taraweeh prayers, indulging in ‘itikaaf and reciting the Quran. This might lead us to feeling deprived of the reward of these blessed nights and decrease our spirituality rather than increasing it.
In this article, I hope to highlight some practical ways in which you can make the best of last 10 nights of Ramadan while going through your menstrual cycle (or post-natal bleeding), without feeling “left out”.
First and foremost, realize that our menstrual cycle is part of Allah (swt)’s creation and something that is ordained by Him (swt).
Allah (swt) tells us in the Quran that He has created us in the best of molds (Surah at-Teen, verse 4). We are also told in the Quran that for everything Allah has "appointed a due proportion” (Surah at-Talaq, verse 2-3) and that "for every matter there is an appointed time given" (Surat ar-Rad, ayah 38).
Thus, to complain about it would be to question the Wisdom of Allah (swt), a’uoodubillah.
Some women think it is more virtuous to fast even though they are on their menses. In their ignorance they make this exception in the month of Ramadan. But rather, they need to realize that it is more virtuous for them to comply with the Command of Allah (swt). It is more rewarding for them to do as they are told by Allah (swt) i.e. not pray or fast while they are on their menses.
Also realize that there are many other ways of achieving spirituality while we are on our menses besides salaah, siyaam and itikaaf.
The prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) is reported to have said that, "Dua is the very essence of 'ibadah.” The prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) said, "Allah is in the assistance of [His] servant, as long as the servant aids his brother." He (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) also said, "Whoever feeds a fasting person will have a reward like that of the fasting person, without any reduction in his reward."
Listed below are few suggestions that a muslimah can do while she is not fasting due to menstruation or post-natal bleeding.
Wake up at Fajr time
Repeat after the fajr adhan
Make dua between adhan and iqaama
Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
Make fajr adhkar:
10 times: “la ilaha ilAllah wahdahu la shareekah la, lahul mulk wa lahul hamd wa huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadeer.”
Recite ayat al kursi
Recite surah Ikhlaas, surah Falaq, surah Nas – 3 times
Other adhkar found in Fortress of the Muslim
Say the morning adkhar
Read an English translation of half-juz of the Quran
Enjoining good: encourage your family to pray Salaat al Duha
The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) called it the salah of the obedient. Reported by Imam Ahmad in his musnad: Abu Hurayrah (radhi Allahu ‘anhu) narrated that the prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) would never miss the salat al-awabeen, which was Salat al Duha.
Duhr time
Repeat after the duhr adhan
Make dua between adhan and iqaama
Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
Engage in more dhikr and dua
Asr time
Repeat after the asr adhan
Make dua between adhan and iqaama
Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
Engage in more dhikr and dua
Read an English translation of half-juz of the Quran
Maghrib time
Repeat after the maghrib adhan
Help people break their fast by passing out dates and water
Make dua between adhan and iqaama
Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
Engage in more dhikr and dua
Isha time
Repeat after the isha adhan
Make dua between adhan and iqaama
Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
Engage in more dhikr and dua
Have family circle time at home
Have a male member of the house recite the Quran to the rest of the family followed by tafsir of those ayat
Before sleeping
Make wudu (this even applies to women with menses)
Recite surah Mulk
Ask your spouse for forgiveness before sleeping
Recite ayat al kursi
Make dua and dhikr
Other acts that can be done
At the masjids
Spread salaams at the masjid
Sponsor iftaars at various masajids if possible
Volunteer for masjid clean up afterwards
Babysit during Taraweeh so that the mothers (and everyone else!) can pray with khushu' and concentration
Make a CD of beautiful Quran recitation and duaas in mp3 and distribute it to people at the masjid
At home
Have a qiyaam program for other sisters at your house – prepare iftar and suhoor for them
Look for new converts, those who are newly practicing or people who have lost touch with the community and invite them over for iftar and eid
Think of eid party ideas/gifts for family, spouse, children, neighbors
In your own time
Memorize ayat of the Quran – use online resources
Donate everyday – clothes, money
Make tawbah and shukr
Memorize Allah's names and their meanings
Find out who is sick in your area or in the hospital and go visit them
Always keep your tongue moist with the dhikr and remembrance of Allah (swt). Say subhanAllah, alhumdulilah, la ilaaha illalha, Allahu akbar and say salaams on the prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) while cooking, cleaning, driving etc. and may Allah make these words heavy on your scaled on the day of judgment.
From: http://www.habibihalaqas.org/2009/04/last-10-nights-and-big-m.html
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