The Husband as the Ruler.

“Men are the rulers over women because Allah has bestowed ranks to some of them above others and because they (men) spend of their wealth (for the maintenance of women)”
(Ayat 34 Surah Nisa)

In describing the man, Allah Ta’ala in his ayat, mentions the word qaw-wamoen which is the plural of qaw-wam. In Arabic, qaw-wam refers to someone who has the responsibility of administering a system. He is in charge of executing the affairs and operation of the system which has been entrusted to him. A qaw-wam is, therefore, a ruler. The Quran-e-Hakeem uses this term in this very meaning. Thus, Allah Ta’ala says that ‘Men are the rulers of (or over) women’.

Just as a community or a nation requires a ruler for proper and efficient functioning of the affairs of society, so too does the home unit stand in need of a ruler to ensure that the home affairs progress smoothly and correctly along the divinely ordained pattern conceived by the Shariah. The man in the house has, thus been appointed the ruler or overseer.

While Islam has bestowed many rights to women, the Quran-e-Hakeem confirms his superior rank and announces his appointment as the ruler of women.
There Is no gainsaying that man is the ruler/guide/overseer in his home. The Quran Majeed is explicit in this declaration and the ahadith of Rasullulah (s.a.w) are replete with his significance and superiority over woman.

While this is indisputably so, the husband should not commit the grave error of assuming his superiority and his appointment as the ruler/leader permit him to rule his family at his whimsical and temperamental behest. It is essential that the husband understands that along with his rank and position, comes responsibility of a grave and sacred nature. His appointment as the Ruler of Woman is not a licence for misdirecting authority. His position as the head of the family does not entitle him to introduce a reign of misery in the home. His superiority over his wife does not bestow to him the right of enslaving her. The wife’s obedience to her husband, emphasized and made incumbent by Allah Ta’ala, does not allow him to adopt a master and servant relationship at home. His elevated rank is not permission for violating, denying and neglecting the rights (Huqooq) which Islam orders for women and children. On the contrary, all such violations and behavioural attitudes not conducive for the correct functioning of an Islamic home, are heavily prescribed by the lofty office he has the husband/father occupies. In short, the husband is not allowed to adopt a bullying attitude. He does not enjoy the right to impose on his wife his wishes, whims and fancies just as he desires and in any way he feels.

Rasullulah(s.a.w) said:
“Everyone of you is a shepherd and everyone of you will be questioned about his flock”.

The husband is the shepherd of his home. On the day of Qiyamah he will have to answer in the Divine Court how he treated his flock. The rights and obligations he has towards his wife and children and sacred injunctions ordained by Rabbul-Alameen. (Allah – the creator and sustainer of all worlds) . An account of his reign of the home will be demanded from him. Thus, he should understand that commensurate of correctly and adequately discharging the Amanat (sacred trust) imposed on him by Allah Ta’ala. On that day of terror – Yaumul Qiyamah – when the unjust and cruel husband who had misused his lofty position and misdirected his authority here in this transitory abode, will be hauled to stand trial in Allah’s court of Justice, he will wish that he never was a husband nor a father nor the ruler in the home. About the awful state of that day of mighty upheavals, terror and fear, the Quran Majeed says:

“(That Day) will be a day when a man will flee from his brother, mother, father, wife and his children”

It is therefore, imperative that the husband/father takes a reckoning of his rule of the home before a reckoning will be demanded from him at a time when he will be ill-prepared of wholly incapable of submitting an appropriate account of his worldly conduct.

This is precisely the purport of Rasullulah’s (s.a.w) saying:
“Take a reckoning (of yourself) before a reckoning will be demanded (from you)”