Its such a tiring day today. But before I start ranting on wat happened today, let me tell you something about yesterday.
I wasn't free to log in yesterday cos my baby was a little too cranky. So, any free time I had was coffee and TV time.. Muahahaha! Yesterday(yday) was not a pretty good day. Aisyah was cranky and worst was.. aah nevermind. I don't want to go into detail - might not be too nice. Haha.. So, ultimately, wat happened was she gave mummy too much work to do. N that upset me quite abit. Cos, you see, I'm her full time care giver. Only ME take care of her - except for the times when my husband is around, he will really sincerely help. Serious! N it is very stressful being a full time stay home mum. Those who are, know what I'm talking about. I can't pray/eat/shower/bla bla bla in peace.. I have to always keep an eye on her. There have been umpteen times when I break my prayer halfway to run to my crying baby. So, coming back to the point, I was kinda upset. And above it, my mom in law was a little upset with me cos I didnt drop by at her place earlier ( she wanted me to be there at abt 6pm and I went at 6.45pm). And also, I wasn't feeling too well. Had the body ache, headache, no appetite stuff. All at once, and i started to cry. I really missed my mum, my family.
But, as a mum, I had to STILL GO ON. So, I just dragged myself thru the day. Later at nite when I was FB-ing, I came across this post which said - 'You woke up with an aching body , be glad you woke up after all'. ZAP!! REALITY STRUCK!
I was like - Yeah! N i was actually complaining?Astaghfirulazheem! And also, on FB, I came across a post by a mum who requested for those in the group to pray for her 30wk old premmie son who had to be kept in NICU - some infection. [ Poor child, May Allah bless him with good health ]. Alot of mummies advised her to breastfeed the child. But she cant, cos the baby was just born and she had only colostrum. And that, she cant latch him directly cos the baby was unconscious . Now, that really broke my heart! Not that I always loved babies, but after having one myself, I really love them now. And I cant take any one hurting any baby. So, alot of mummies in the group offered to send their expressed breast milk so that the mother can feed her child. Humanity restored.
I found that really really nice and sweet. And that made me think - My marriage wasn't an easy one. It was a love marriage - alot of struggles and fights. We got married with our parents permission and approval. But they weren't happy about it. As expected, fights continued. I used to cry alot. Cry cry cry. I conceived a year later and that didnt help too. The situation was more or less the same. And then, on 15th Apr 2013, miracle happened. Allah blessed me with all the peace, the solution to all my sorrows when my baby was born. Life now, alhamdullilah, is so so so so so much happier and peaceful. I just can't express how complete I feel now.
When we are upset, I guess Shaitan plays with our mind. I'm blessed - alhamdullilah. Really blessed. But yet, such simple stuff that happened yday could make me cry and complain? I just have to remind myself, in such moments, that its just another phase in life - perhaps, Allah is just testing me or just learn to look things at the brighter side and laff over it. Anything that you take for granted could be something that another brother/sister is crying for. Alhamdullilah for everything.
Its bedtime now. My mum used to tell me when I was a little girl that before I go to sleep, I should rewind whatever happened for the day and think if i had hurt anyone. If I did, say sorry immediately or in the morning. And thank Allah for the blessings that he had bestowed upon us for the day. This teaching faded off thru my teens. And now, when I reflect on how I was brought up, I reckon this is such an amazing thot that must,must be instilled into my daughter. Inshallah.
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